In this day of skyrocketing prices of burial – not to mention the mega billion dollar business deals that leave the ownerships of many corporate-run cemeteries in constant limbo – many families in the United States are considering an old fashioned idea: establishing a private family cemetery. Relatively speaking, this is a simple process. In fact, the biggest concern is typically making the decision to devote a portion of a piece of property to a cemetery that will, by its very definition, be around forever. And, once that decision has been made, many state and local laws make establishing a family run, private grave yard a straight forward, easy-to-navigate process that is free of much of the bureaucratic red tape one might assume is involved. (That statement does not necessarily apply to all areas, unfortunately. In some locales’ strong legislative influence by labor unions or commercial cemetery lobbying groups have made family cemeteries all-but impossible to start. Generally speaking, the more committed a state’s elected official are to the conservative principal of limited government, the easier a family cemetery will be to start.) To perhaps help families take the plunge and start a family cemetery, we have assembled the following list of benefits owning a family cemetery can have for a family – or any group.
Saving Money
The most obvious benefit of starting a family-run cemetery in money. It has been estimated that, at today’s burial plot prices offered by the average corporate-run cemetery, a family cemetery will pay for itself very quickly, often with just the first two burials. For guidance on purchasing a cemetery plot, see How To Buy a Cemetery Plot? Establishing a cemetery does, of course, require a bit of capital, the most significant of which may be legal fees in establishing the property officially as a cemetery. (Many families also desire to add amenities such as paved paths and roads, fences, and even lighting. These are not typically required by any state or local laws, however, and can be added later as capital permits.) Laws typically require that family cemeteries file a plan with the state for how the owners intend to maintain the land over the decades, and some areas require that at least a small amount of money be set aside from the beginning in an interest-bearing account that will help cover the cost of “perpetual care” as it is needed.
Whatever the case, families starting their own family cemetery will be hard to pressed to spend more than the cost of 4-5 burials at standard commercial cemetery prices, and most family cemeteries are typically designed to hold at least 15-20 graves. It takes no mathematical financial genius to realize that a cemetery, so long as commercial prices remain stable or rise as they have (a scenario that industry analysts say is likely for the next few decades at least), is well worth the investment. The only question would be whether the family can spare the temporary use of its funds and, in today’s world, of course, large outlays of capital are often impractical for many family’s to even consider.
Control Over Maintenance
The next benefit is a strong concern for many families who have been disappointed to arrive at a corporate-run cemetery only to see that their loved-one’s plots have been neglected for years by cemetery personnel. Sinking headstones, faded grave markers, and plots over run with weeds are just some of the issues the families assume a cemetery staff will attend to (especially with the high costs of burials), but those matters are often forgotten even at the most expensive cemeteries. Many families, accordingly, find themselves in the habit of putting a weed eater, other gardening tools and even a few cleaning supplies (though experts warn, by the way, to not use soap or other chemicals on cement or metal grave markers. Just good ole water and elbow grease are all that are required to keep a monument looking nice for the ages) in their vehicles for their annual trips to visit loved-one’s graves. While this is a happy, loving tradition for many families, many money-wise family members often wonder whether it might make sense to do this same work on their loved one’s graves on a plot of land that they have not already paid someone else thousands of dollars. Tending to one’s own family grave site can make the experience even more powerful and meaningful than it might otherwise be.
Control Over Rules
And still another benefit of establishing a private family cemetery is the control such ownership gives a family over rules that, at corporate-run cemeteries, can often seem overly bureaucratic, arbitrary, and even stifling. Families that own their own cemeteries can decide precisely what types of headstones are acceptable, where graves will be plotted, whether burial vaults are necessary, what landscaping elements are appropriate, what events can be held in a cemetery and who will be buried (or moved) there. These matters are often the subject of great turmoil between families and the company-run cemeteries they hire to care perpetually for their loved ones. And, when disputes arise over these matters in situations in which a family is not the owner of the entire cemetery, families may be legally required to abide by the arbitrary rules – for example, requiring flowers and other décor to be removed within three days of its being placed there – unless they wish to go through the expense and stress of hiring an attorney to represent their interests and requests. Just knowing that many cemeteries today are no longer allowing large, up-right grave markers on their property – but instead require all graves to be marked by relatively small, flat markers – is enough to convince many people to go through the trouble to establish a private cemetery. Another key issue that arises is over the necessity of burial vaults. Many corporate run cemeteries require that these concrete containers for caskets be installed in each grave so as to (ostensibly) keep the ground from collapsing around the casket and creating large divots on the cemetery’s surface. Because even the least expensive of these vaults can cost up to $1,000, many families question the need for them and the scientific evidence for their necessity is, according to many experts, dubious at best. It is for this reason along that many families have reported they have decided to establish their own private cemetery in which burial vaults would not only be not required, they are often even prohibited. And, finally, another issue that is often troublesome for families whose loved ones are to be buried in a commercial cemetery involves the choice of caskets. Many cemeteries also double as retail outlets for caskets and, accordingly, establish rules by which their competitors may have difficulty serving a family’s casket needs. When this happens, the family can find itself all-but-forced to buy a casket from the cemetery itself, often paying much more than they might elsewhere. Family run cemeteries are free to allow individuals to buy caskets from any source that sells them. And, in some cases, families even make it a tradition to build their own caskets – in the fashion of the simple wooden coffins of the wild west days – for burial in their family cemetery without having to consult anyone. Families can also create scattering gardens in which a loved one’s ashes are distributed and a memorial plaque is installed. In some commercial cemeteries, the use of scattering gardens comes at a premium price that is even more expensive than a traditional burial plot. Families that have established their own private cemetery do not have to deal with any of these issues that are commonly complained about by families that have, often reluctantly, chosen to do business at a commercially run cemetery.
Possible Financial Incentives
Many families will also find that establishing their own private cemetery has financial benefits above the savings that can be generated from not having to pay large amounts to a commercial cemetery. While a private cemetery will never be able to be used for any other purpose once it has been formally declared a cemetery, it does not necessarily lose value. In fact, corporations that are in the business of running commercial cemeteries have been known to offer families large amounts of money for the cemeteries, as an expansion of their own operation. Granted, the main reason why these companies offer to buy the private cemeteries is because they intend to make even more money by opening the land to other families who wish to bury their deceased loved ones there. So some families have taken to establishing their private cemeteries with expansion in mind for themselves. In these cases, the family’s own plots are assigned to just a portion of the land, and the rest is made available for sale to other families – often at extremely profitable prices that are considered a steal compared to the prices other nearby commercial cemeteries are asking. (Selling pre-need spaces often does require a license or other regulatory measure obtained from a state’s financial services regulatory agency. But such matters are not cost prohibitive in most cases, those they may require a lawyer’s services.)
So, we see once again, establishing a family cemetery – for families that can afford to do it – can be a significant financial boon as well as a great peace of mind for everyone in the family.